To all who celebrate, congratulations: November is National Family Caregivers Month. In fact, there’s even a White House proclamation recognizing the harsh reality of family caregiving: “The truth is, at some point in our lives, each of us will likely need to be a family caregiver.” The proclamation also recognizes other harsh truths: that women, people of color, and immigrants shoulder much of the caregiving burden in this country, often unpaid or underpaid, and generally speaking, undervalued. While there is some evidence of federal attention now being paid to the plight of family caregivers, the reality is that as a country we continue to underappreciate the essential role of family caregivers, particularly when it comes to the health and well-being of older adults. For a good, recent overview of what family caregiving is all about, read here.

For the estimated 22- 26 million American adults who currently fulfill this role, there’s no doubt it’s a juggle and a struggle. A recent Cleveland Clinic/Parade Magazine survey of family caregivers reflects the toll that this responsibility takes on so many. According to the survey results, caregivers suffer anxiety and depression at higher rates than non-caregivers, and 60% report feeling anxious at least one day each week. Moreover, 56% said that it was unlikely that they could take a day off from their caregiving or work responsibilities to relieve stress. To add to this struggle, more than half of family caregivers also try to hold onto a job while fulfilling their caregiving responsibilities. Often this struggle leads to reduced hours of work for the caregiver, or even leaving jobs altogether (with the added loss, then, of income, benefits, and retirement savings). Women especially experience this loss and often find they have less income and fewer hours when and if they eventually return to the workforce. In certain limited circumstances, it is possible as a family caregiver to set up a situation where you can get paid for your services, especially if the care recipient is heading toward Medicaid eligibility. Given that it’s estimated that family caregivers spend more than $7000/year out-of-pocket for their caregiving responsibilities, that might seem enticing. But it likely will in no way make up for the lost income, opportunities, and retirement planning that so many family caregivers give up when bearing the responsibility of caring for a loved one.

If you’re new to family caregiving, you may not realize there are significant informational resources available online to help you sort through matters such as medical care, hiring homemaker services, surrogate decision-making, advance care planning, and financial issues. On agebuzz, you’ll find a range of resources. While every family caregiver is in her own unique situation, there are common questions and dilemmas that most face. For example, how do you hire a qualified and trustworthy paid caregiver to help with chores and responsibilities (assuming there is the money to do that)?  Or, how do you find support for yourself during your time as a caregiver and take care of your own needs in addition to those of your loved one? Speaking of support, Kaiser Health News recently published an article on family caregivers finding a supportive community by sharing their stories and stress on the social media platform Tik Tok. If that’s not a comfortable arena for you, consider investigating the multitude of family caregiver support groups you can find on Facebook.

Perhaps the biggest hurdle many family caregivers face is just learning the lay of the land: what services are available? How do you pay for them? Whom should you contact with questions? In essence, just getting the full picture is essential in order to do the job well with as little turmoil as possible. Unfortunately, our long-term care “system” is fragmented and difficult to comprehend, especially if you’re new to the job. Are there any “hand-holders” or “navigators” to help you figure things out? In some communities, that kind of help is beginning to surface, and it’s apparently a concept that’s gaining some traction, especially given a recent report from Nexus Insights. In the meantime, however, family caregivers continue to face daunting responsibilities with inadequate emotional, medical, or financial support. Unfortunately, that’s not much reason to celebrate.