Anyone married for a long period of time knows that every relationship goes through ups and downs. Perhaps the greatest, and final challenge of any marriage is the anticipation of the death of one of the spouses. One can imagine that is a time of enormous stress and anxiety, along with the physical distress and caregiving needs that may arise.

However, many spouses seem to weather and even find joy in the precious moments that the end of life can summon. For example, writer Sherry Angel, recently sharing her experience on Thrive Global, describes the richness of daily life with her ailing husband once they had the courage to discuss how he wanted to live his final days. Or, listen to the beautiful story described by scholar Lara Dotson-Renta, who witnesses the loving devotion of her elderly neighbor as he cared for his wife at the end of her life. You may also want to check out the recent documentary from Korea, My Love, Don’t Cross That River, now streaming on Amazon and iTunes, that captures the end of a 70+ year marriage as the couple prepares for the end of the husband’s life. While your instincts may be to say that these are all isolated cases and that being present for a spouse at the end of life would be unbearable, research seems to suggest that aging caregivers tending to a dying spouse feel strongly that this responsibility is a part of the marriage commitment they made. This does not diminish the support that the healthier spouse requires, but does suggest that this can be a pivotal and even positive moment in a person’s life.

And if you, or a loved one, find yourself in the position of preparing for the loss of a spouse, you may want to consider some words of wisdom from author Thelma Zirkelbach, who offers up a few practical ways to get ready to confront your pending loss.