For many of us, it’s the most blatant and visible reminder that we are getting older. A casual look in the mirror makes it clear: Gray hair is a natural result of getting on in years and few of us escape that reality (though many do their utmost to prevent, hide, or even reverse that process). As a recent Wall Street Journal headline makes clear, Americans Will Do Anything to Avoid Gray Hair. The question is, short of coloring over the gray once it appears, is there anything that can be done to escape this fate? 

As you may or may not know, gray hair is largely a result of genetics and aging, along with such other factors as stress, smoking, sun exposure, and poor diet. The color pigment in your hair is the result of melanocyte cells that produce melanin, the pigment at the roots of your hair. As you age, these cells lose their functional vitality and as a result, your hair color begins to disappear and the cells lose their ability to put pigment in the base of your hair follicles. There is research underway to see if this process could be prevented or even reversed but, as one researcher states, “There’s still a long way to go before products can promise full hair repigmentation.” Nonetheless, as that recent Wall Street Journal article makes clear, ⅓ of US adults surveyed said they would probably or definitely take a drug if it were approved for preventing or reversing the process of hair turning gray. And researchers are hard at work trying to test existing drugs (such as rapamycin)  and many consumers are self-testing available supplements all in the hope of forestalling what is likely inevitable. What about just pulling out gray hairs whenever you notice them? Not such a great idea, according to experts. Pulling a gray hair out will not prevent it from growing back. Moreover, you may damage your hair follicle as a result of the pulling, which could lead to hair loss or even infections. If you pull enough hairs in one area, you may even create bald patches. So avoid the temptation to pull, and read more here. 

If you decide to go the route of coloring your gray hair, experts suggest several strategies to create a more natural look that blends in with the beginnings of gray and may ultimately lead you to conclude that gray is acceptable, and even embrace it. Highlights or lowlights are a suggested way to consider coloring your hair, and it’s recommended that you always consult a professional first before you try it on your own. As one expert makes clear, you’re likely to make a “rookie” coloring mistake: “The biggest mistake people make when they color their hair at home is making their hairline too dark and heavy.” Remember, depending upon how quickly your hair grows and how tolerant you are for gray roots to show, you may be positioning yourself for monthly or even quicker visits to a salon for coloring work. You also need to be sure to purchase shampoos that work with colored hair and that support your color without it turning brassy or fading.

And if you decide it’s all too much, and instead choose to finally let your gray hair grow out, then consider the advice from New York Times writer Elisabeth Egan, who recently wrote a personal essay about her decision to stop coloring her hair and to embrace her gray. After 25 years of coloring over her gray, she’s making the public commitment to allow her gray hair to grow out this summer. What’s helping her do so? She recommends 2 books that describe a stylish transition and acceptance of gray hair. Those books are Going Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else That Really Matters by Anne Kreamer and I’ll Drink to That: A Life in Style, with a Twist by the legendary Bergdorf Goodman’s personal shopper Betty Halbreich. While they may not tell you exactly how to go gray yourself, they should provide some insightful stories about the place of gray hair in your personal development as an older woman. And as an extra treat, consider that Bobbi Brown, the legendary makeup artist and creator of the brand Jones Road, has just come out with a new brow pencil specifically intended to add beauty and elegance to those of us with gray hair.