So, how long has it been for you? Eight months? Twelve months? Fourteen months? If you’re a grandparent, you’ve likely been counting the months (or, let’s face it, days) since the last time you had an in-person hug and kiss from your grandchild. While most of us have Zoomed and FaceTimed and chatted, the reality is there’s nothing quite like seeing a little loved one in the flesh to swell your heart and bring a tear to your eye. And so, with vaccinations now completed or underway, more and more grandparents are planning in-person gatherings with those they’ve dearly missed during the pandemic.

With this rush to resume, there have been plenty of stories and published advice about how to approach the big reunion. First up, as we’ve previously noted, the CDC now states that indoor visits, without masks or distancing, can happen between those fully vaccinated and those yet to be vaccinated (likely children), so vaccinated grandparents can hug the kids without distance or masks interfering (just don’t invite a big crowd of multiple families). And while you may still be mourning the year that you lost (after all, there will never be another first birthday or high school graduation) experts suggest that bonds can be repaired and renewed as children quickly connect to the voice or face they’ve seen and heard from afar during the pandemic. There may need to be some adjustments and conversations about comfort levels, and some parents may still harbor concerns regarding risks to their children. Many parents are just now beginning to adjust their risk perceptions, which admittedly have been highly wound up during this time. As one writer bluntly states, “Evaluating risk is hard in an era of parenting panic.”

And there may need to be some adjustments once you all come together again concerning what is acceptable grandparent behavior. In a new piece in The Atlantic, writer Robin Marantz Henig addresses the problem of grandparent behavior clashing with parenting rules and styles. The dilemma, for both adult children raising their own young kids and older grandparents having already gone through the process, is when to keep your mouth shut- for those on both sides of the equation. Deciding when it’s worth disrupting relationships or even limiting visits can, as Henig describes it, be “an emotional minefield.” Recent data shows that points of contention can include food, screen time, discipline styles, and even bedtime. The question is, for both, when is it worth making a fuss? In the end, as Henig writes, there’s one simple reason to steer clear of conflict: “The recognition that the grandparent-grandchild relationship, even if it comes with some tension, is ultimately a gift.” And that’s a recognition that’s become even more acute as so many have been separated for so long. For a more humorous look at how to be a “successful and special” grandparent but with an eye toward your adult children, put down your treats and take a look here.

And if you really want to do your adult children a favor, you may suggest what’s known as a “Skip Gen” vacation where grandparents and grandchildren go away together, leaving (grateful) parents behind. Also known as “gramping,” such multigenerational get-aways can fulfill your desire to both reconnect with your grandchildren while at the same time relieving your long pent-up desire to get back out into the world (and give your adult children a well-deserved break). For a list of some ideas where you can safely “gramp” and “camp,” pack your bags and click here.