“It can make you sad to look at pictures from your youth. So there’s a trick to it. The trick is not to look at the later pictures.”

“People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway.”

“If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.”

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”

“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all of these problems in one delightful little cup.”

“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.”