“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.”

“An old-timer is one who remembers when it cost more to run a car than to park it.”

“Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.”

“In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.”

“There are three signs of old age: loss of memory…I forget the other two.”

“My experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don’t know anything at all.”