From funeral homes to cemeteries, no aspect of the death “industry” has been untouched by the coronavirus. As one expert has said, “This feels like 3 years of funerals condensed into one month.” Since it’s unknown how long the virus lasts within the tissues of a deceased person, funeral staff and others who handle bodies must contend with protecting themselves with uncertain supplies of protective equipment. While the CDC advises there is no known risk of merely being in the room with someone who has died from the coronavirus, they do recommend no touching, washing or shrouding of the body, as is the custom among some religions. They also provide guidance to funeral workers and those whose loved ones have died overseas and are trying to bring remains home.

For family members, the natural grief from the death of a loved one is all the more heartbreaking, given the likelihood that the person may have died without family present, and that usual funeral practices are likely forbidden at this time. Writing in The Atlantic on the death of a beloved uncle, writer Ramtin Arablouei remarked, “The coronavirus is stealing our ability to grieve.” For dying patients in hospitals, isolated from their loved ones, nurses are struggling to provide a measure of human comfort and companionship in place of relatives. A recent article in the Boston Globe spoke poignantly of nurses playing a dying patient’s favorite music on their cell phone or providing a comforting hand just to let them know they were not alone. As one nurse lamented, “I promised the children I would treat her as if she was my own mother.”

Right now, most funerals, services, and burials are severely restricted to just a few attendees, if at all, as social distancing and sheltering at home mean that few are permitted to venture to a service, much less travel a long distance to witness a burial. But as noted in a recent article in USA Today, the virus is changing how we say goodbye to loved ones and altering the important ritual of funerals, which are as much about comforting the living as remembering the dead. In fact, writing in The New York Times, journalist Jodi Kantor was told, “In the coming months, we’re going to to see what else the word funeral can mean.” Less time may be spent focusing on the immediacy of the death and being present at the burial as more time will be spent memorializing the life of the deceased and gathering online to share our grief. As noted by Kantor, in recent weeks new Facebook groups have developed to allow for the sharing of grief while socially distancing.

Technology already allows for shared mourning, both at the time of death and thereafter. For example, many funeral homes are now live streaming funeral services on their Facebook pages, which allows friends and loved ones to watch a service even if unable to be physically present. Given the restrictions in place today, the choices available to families include postponing a service (for how long one can’t be sure), strictly limiting access to a service, live streaming a service or recording the service to be replayed when all can once again come together. None of these are ideal yet all present new options for adapting to our changed circumstances. And new websites are available (such as eCondolence, shiva.com, and OneRoom) that can facilitate rituals and services to meet important needs, despite social distancing. It’s certainly a new era, not one any of us would have chosen, but one in which we are all doing our best to adapt to drastically different circumstances in times of grief.