We’ve all dealt with some of the hard truths and realities of what growing older can mean, both the bad and the good. From our bodies slowing down to our discovery of the positives that can arise, we each experience moments of both despair and wonderment, sometimes at the same time. It’s these experiences, surprises, and truths that writer and poet Jane Seskin so elegantly and humorously addresses in her brand new book of poetry, Older, Wiser, Shorter: The Truth and Humor of Life After 65.

Jane Seskin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the author of 13 books. She’s also written nonfiction articles and poetry online and for national magazines and journals (20 poems published in Cosmopolitan Magazine, five poems in Woman’s Day. Eighteen of her posts have been published in the Metropolitan Diary column in the New York Times.) Jane has been a writer-in-residence at the Vermont Studio Center and Noepe Center for Literary Arts. She has also been nominated for a Pushcart Prize.

Ms. Seskin is also a practicing psychotherapist, who counseled survivors in individual and group treatment at the Crime Victims Treatment Center in New York for 20 years.

In her free time, Jane enjoys the theater, walking by the Hudson River in New York City, visiting with friends, reading poetry and mysteries (Louise Penny, David Baldacci, Donna Leon), and listening to jazz (Keith Jarrett, Houston Person, Chris Botti). Give her a piece of bread and butter and she’s a happy camper! Jane wrote therapeutic sound-bites on Twitter under the title: “Emotional Band-Aid. Small Steps for Change.” Find out more about her at her website.

For just a sample of the poetry to be found in her new book, consider the following poem, “Changes.”

agebuzz Managing Editor Connie Zuckerman recently had the opportunity to interview Jane Seskin about her life, her work, and the insights she has gained as an older person.

CZ: You’re an award-nominated author and poet, as well as a psychotherapist. Can we first ask you to describe your background briefly? Where did you grow up? What was your upbringing like? 

JS: I grew up in Great Neck, Long Island. I remember reading as a big part of life. My family read books and played word games. I loved school. I was a Girl Scout. I took part in the exchange program, The Experiment in International Living, with a family in Holland.

CZ: How did you decide to become a psychotherapist? Do you still have a psychotherapeutic practice? 

JS: Great question. I was a freelance writer for 15 years writing articles and books. On a radio call-in show in Miami, a woman asked a personal question. I answered! I had no business answering. I was a writer for God’s sake and knew how to observe people’s behavior, not how to advise or treat them! For a couple of weeks, I kept thinking about this incident. My life was writing articles on a 6-week deadline, and putting out a book every 2 years. Was this my future? I decided to apply to Social Work School. I had a group interview where I was the oldest applicant at 38 and was accepted! The best 2 years of my life and the worst 2 years of my life. Writing psych papers, going to class, doing 2 internships, and taking a licensure exam to be certified. Way different than being a freelance writer! When I was freelancing I did volunteer work at a rape crisis hospital-based program where I was later hired. I was there for 20 years as a counselor seeing survivors of violent crimes in individual and group treatment. I feel truly grateful for this period in my life working with wonderful colleagues and survivors who persevered with enormous courage and resilience. And my poetry book Witness to Resilience: Stories of Intimate Violence came from this period.

During this time I maintained a part-time private psychotherapy practice. Today, I am winding down though continue to see a small number of adult clients.

CZ: Have you always been a writer as well? What prompted you to become a writer?

JS: I had no idea nor aspiration to become a writer. I began my career life as a first-grade teacher.

I had an accident that sidelined me while getting my first Master’s degree. My thesis was a children’s book (never published). A  professor sent me to an agent friend of hers. I was widowed young and kept notes about my emotional life. And by sheer chance, I met a publisher who was interested in what I was writing. That was 40 years ago. I was lucky to be in the right place at the right time writing what people wanted to read.

CZ: You’ve previously written over a dozen books along with articles in such publications as The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, and Woman’s Day. How do you select your topics and what do you consider your areas of expertise?

JS: My area of expertise is the life I’m living and my curiosity on doing it differently, easier, or better.

CZ: This new book of poetry, Older, Wiser, Shorter: The Truth and Humor of Life After 65, is such a wonderful and vulnerable exploration of what it feels like to experience growing older. You write with such truth and you can articulate thoughts and emotions that most of us likely have, but few of us could put into words. What was your inspiration for going down this poetry path? Is this a new area of exploration for you or have you previously written about these issues? Have you continued to write poetry on aging after you completed these pieces? Do you see this as an essential process to help you make sense of life as you continue to age?

JS: Thank you! In my thirties, I wrote two non-fiction books books on aging. I wanted to learn what getting older was like. I believe information is power. If you have some idea of what lies ahead, you become less anxious. You can begin to take the necessary steps to go forward.

I write poetry because no one said I couldn’t! Poetry for me has been a quick way to get down a thought. With an economy of words, you can draw the picture or experience so readers can participate in the feeling. I continue to poem about aging as I go about my life and participate in new adventures.

CZ: You very effectively employ self-deprecating humor in this collection. Have you found that humor is a way to gently but effectively approach these topics? 

JS: Humor is a wonderful way to deal with difficult topics. It can put the salve on a sting.

CZ: What’s been the most challenging thing for you to face up to as you’ve gotten older?

JS: I can no longer do 2 to 3 activities a day. I’ve come to accept the fact that I get tired more quickly than before. I’ve become more thoughtful about where I will place my energy.  

CZ: Your poems suggest you also have a rich, intellectually stimulating life. What are your hobbies and sources of pleasure these days?

JS: I believe each of us has to find what brings comfort. What constitutes nourishment? If you are someone who continually gives yourself away to others, to work, to projects, how do you restore? 

I am grateful to the friends in my life who are supportive of my writing. I love walking by the Hudson River and sitting quietly on a bench. My comfort is reading mysteries where I am swept away from my life. And I love listening to jazz; the Vitamin String Quartet, Keith Jarret, Chris Boti. 

CZ: What’s your advice for older women to keep positive, joyful, and engaged as they enter their later years?

JS: It is the advice I give myself in the form of assertions: 

I will focus on what I can do, not on what I can’t.

I will seek out people for connection and community.

I will choose to be generous, to be of service to others.

I will look for things to do that promote laughter.

I will speak out when someone makes a comment I consider ageist.

I will look for daily moments that make my heart sing.

CZ: You’ve included a “Reading Guide” at the end of your new book of poetry. Are you yourself a member of a Reading Group? Do you think there would be value and pleasure in older women reading these poems as a group and discussing their relevance or relaying similar, personal anecdotes?

JS: I think it would be wonderful if people shared these poems with their friends, colleagues, and family. It might be a head start into difficult conversations, exploring ideas we’ve thought about but not verbalized. I’ve been notified by 2 women’s groups that they begin their meetings with a poem and a sharing of what that poem may mean for each. How glorious that we’re allowing ourselves to be authentic and vulnerable.

CZ: Will you be doing any promotional readings for this book?

JS: Yes. 

CZ: What’s the best way for readers to learn about you and your writing?

JS: They can go to my website: www.janeseskin.com

CZ: Any final words of wisdom to share with agebuzz readers? 

JS: Find a daily moment of joy (you had a walk, you said Hello to a stranger, you had a wonderful piece of chocolate, you didn’t use your phone for ½ the day, you made music, you took care of something you’d avoided) and write it down. Be courageous. Be curious. Live all the minutes in your life.

CZ: Thank you so much for responding to our questions Jane!

JS: Thank You, Connie!