While most of us appear to understand the seriousness of the coronavirus spread throughout our communities, and the special risk it poses to older and immune-suppressed populations, there are nonetheless multiple reports and survey results that suggest Baby Boomers may not be taking this as seriously as they should. For example, on the issue of “social distancing” a recent Harris Poll found that 81% of older Americans still planned to attend a family gathering and 91% of seniors still intended to go to a grocery store. While almost all reported deaths due to the coronavirus have been in people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s, 77% of those over 65 believed they were unlikely to contract their virus in their day-to-day activities. As well, another poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation found that older adults and those with serious underlying health conditions were no more likely than the general public to stay home, cancel plans or stock up on food or medications, despite their enhanced risk of contracting the virus.

There are also increasing anecdotal reports in the media of adult children who are dismayed at their inability to convince their older parents of the need to heed public health warnings. For example, in this week’s New Yorker, writer Michael Shulman tries to come to terms with older parents who seem unwilling to stay put and isolate themselves, and who instead seemed to be out and about as though nothing serious was happening. Calling this the “YOLO grandparent” mode (YOLO meaning You Only Live Once) his concerns were echoed by writer Rina Raphael, writing in Medium, who commented, “It’s as if we are living in two realities: one in which COVID-19 was shutting down entire countries and one in which my mother can socialize freely.” Further, Raphael opined that many who fall into the higher risk category due to age or underlying health “may not (actually) consider themselves elderly.” As such, there are many adult children now running around trying to “parent” their “rebellious” parents.

So, if you have older loved ones who seem not to be taking this seriously and whose behavior may be putting themselves or others at risk for viral spread, what to do? There are suggestions for how to broach such a conversation, including the advice of finding a “trusted messenger” to deliver the information and facilitating a conversation that doesn’t patronize, is respectful and includes non-emotional information. Whatever you do, you need to leave the lines of communication open and ongoing (and perhaps send a care package of some Purell and Clorox wipes, if you can find them!)