Whether you live 2 miles or 200 miles from your grandchildren, this is a challenging time to be a grandparent. Your age and health may put you at greater risk of severe illness from COVID-19 and your children and grandchildren are therefore likely keeping their distance no matter how distressing that is, for you and for them. As one British woman opined, “I miss having grandparents because they really share the load- the mother load…I miss being able to hand my child over to someone besotted with him.” It’s a two-way relationship that provides immeasurable benefits to all involved, and as Harvard psychiatry professor Dr. Eugene Beresin recently wrote, “There’s nothing more important in connecting with a child than spending time with them.” But how do you do that while maintaining your physical distance?

A recent post on Next Avenue is chock-full of ideas to create connection and conversation. From creating new bedtime rituals using FaceTime to reading classic books together, this article is a great resource with links to all sorts of ideas and supports to make your virtual playdates become a reality. Another source of connection? There’s a relatively new smartphone app called Tell that allows you to record and share great stories with your grandchildren.

But for many, these physically-distanced solutions offer little solace. Many grandparents are worried that they are losing out on their precious limited time to spend with grandchildren. And they may even be tempted to breach whatever quarantine restrictions are in place in order to get a long-desired hug from a beloved grandchild. What to do? A recent post from CNN suggests you think long and hard about that. Some questions to consider: What do you really want out of a visit and can you do so while minimizing risks? What would be your level of exposure if you got together with family you haven’t seen for a long time? And if you do make the decision to go ahead, will you be able to: wash hands before and after, wear a mask, keep 6 feet apart and greet each other without touching or hugging? If you’ve made it this far by physically distancing, it would surely be unfortunate to up your level of risk now.

Finally, there are those grandparents who have chosen, either voluntarily or with some heavy persuasion, to quarantine from the start with their adult children and grandchildren, especially if childcare was halted and the parents need to work during quarantine. That may sound heavenly to those who have had to socially distance, but for the grandparents in the trenches, it can be exhausting even if exhilarating. To find out more, push aside that pile of children’s books and click here.