Take one older relative in need of assistance. Add in several adult children and grandchildren, all of whom live in different parts of the country. Mix in some unexpected health problems…and what do you have? A potentially volatile situation, as everyone struggles to figure out their roles and responsibilities. Tensions can run high and relationship dynamics can get messy. What’s a sane approach to this potentially disastrous recipe? Mediation may be just the solution you need to ease disputes that can arise when family caregiving is needed. Longtime agebuzz readers may remember our 2017 article “All In The Family: Mediators For Adult Siblings of Aging Parents” which introduced mediation as a useful tool for resolving conflicts amongst adult siblings. Now it’s time for an update.

Eldercare mediation can provide a private, safe forum for family members to collaboratively discuss challenging issues and find acceptable solutions for a range of elder care problems, including medical treatment, housing concerns, financial matters, and even inheritance disputes. A mediator’s role is to facilitate valuable and productive discussion. It’s a confidential, voluntary process in which every family member has equal input and family members are encouraged to express concerns, develop healthy communication strategies, and formulate a workable plan. For more information on the specifics of elder mediation, click here.

So rather than come to blows, why not come together and give mediation a try. To determine whether the mediator is a good fit, this AARP guide suggests asking questions about background, approach, confidentiality, and pricing. And for further reading about elder mediation, resources, and supports, take a deep breath and read here and here.