Writer Thomas Merton once wrote, “Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone- we find it with one another.” A lucky few of us have had long marriages that are sustained by a lifetime of common interests, shared memories and love that holds it all together. But the stressors that accompany aging (money woes, health challenges, lifestyle changes, downsizing) can all threaten those bonds and test the strength of the relationship and the compromise abilities of each partner. 

But for some of us reaching our later years, the love we may have once had is now gone. Either due to death or divorce or just never settling down with the right partner, we spend our time alone or with friends, without a special someone in our lives. But for the romantics among us, there’s always hope for more love and physical passion in life, and in today’s world, that often means navigating the world of online dating apps. A recent piece in the Atlantic, however, throws a bit of cold water on what it’s like to try dating after middle age. Writer Faith Hill, remarking that ⅓ of baby boomers are not currently married (due to higher rates of divorce, longer life spans and changing mores of acceptable lifestyles), shares the benefits and burdens of such technology-driven dating. One upside of dating apps? Longer lives mean more opportunities for additional loving relationships in your life and apps can help you sort through the options without having to compromise at this later stage in life. The downside? Older straight women face stiff competition given the demographics of fewer older men, and many are simply overwhelmed by the swipes and strategies of app-based dating. Some do find potential mates, but often there is a desire to hedge one’s bet and not seek relationships that require living together.

But if you’re holding out hope, here’s an inspiring story. Journalist and runner Eve Pell detailed her late in life relationship in her book Love, Again: The Wisdom of Unexpected Romance. Pell also published a piece in The Modern Love section of The New York Times about this late-life relationship entitled, “The Race Grows Sweeter Near Its Final Lap.” For an audio account of her unexpected romance with a fellow senior runner, listen to Mary Chapin Carpenter read the story here. And you may even want to check out the video version of the story, starring actress Jane Alexander, in the recent Amazon Prime Series Modern Love.