While loss may be an inevitable fact of life, none of us easily gets over the trauma of losing a loved one. The outrage, the grief, the sadness all take a toll on our physical and mental health, to the point where our own health and even mortality may be affected. The stress that comes from the death of a loved one can worsen such physical conditions as heart failure or diabetes and even trigger new problems such as high blood pressure, not to mention the feelings of depression and hopelessness that can surface after the death of someone close to us. In fact, estimates are that 5% of deaths per year are attributable to the increased risk of death that accompanies the grieving process. For more on what bereavement expert Dr. Toni Miles calls our “hidden grief epidemic,” and what can be done in response, take a look here.

And while death and mourning are inevitable, our rituals in the aftermath appear to be shifting as technology becomes more and more a part of our lives. One fascinating example comes from digital residue left behind by those who have died. Whether it’s a Facebook page, a voicemail left on our phones or the last text message we received before a person died, many of us now cling to the digital remnants that remind us of our departed loved ones. A recent article in Fast Company describes the emotional responses of those who can’t bear to upgrade their software or replace a device for fear of losing their last connection to someone who has passed away. And there are now even websites that create an “immortal” digital presence or avatar of a loved one who has died.

And one more sign of the times is the new ritual of the “virtual” food offering for someone in mourning. We’ve all been through the act of offering support to a grieving person with a home-made casserole or fruit basket delivered as a sign of sympathy and comfort. Well, it seems the 21st-century version of this ritual is the email gift of a meal app credit: emailing an electronic gift card from Seamless or some other food delivery service so that those in grief can order whatever food fits their mood and needs. As one sender stated, “it’s because you can’t eat flowers.” And while many of us would find this an impersonal and even inappropriate way of expressing solidarity and support for someone grieving, in many ways it may be a very practical and thoughtful way to offer kindness and compassion for those in need of both (without the obligation to wash a casserole dish and find a way to return it.)