We never know for certain when our loved ones will be at the end of life. While some will gradually come to the end others may pass more suddenly, without the opportunity to plan or say goodbye. Regardless, there are teachable moments when our loved ones are in their final days, and a recent spate of articles reflect some of these important lessons.

Writing in the New England Journal of Medicine, Dr. Jeff Drazen shares the experience of his brother’s passing from colon cancer. His brother, Rabbi Paul Drazen, lived his final months absorbed in work, encouraging others to get the screened for the cancer taking his life and keeping himself motivated and vital with the goal of witnessing his daughter’s wedding. You can read about the wisdom that Rabbi Paul Drazen imparted in his final days Here. Alternatively, Marian Grant, a palliative care nurse practitioner in Baltimore, learned some hard lessons from the recent passing of her mother. Despite the exemplary planning and preparing that she and her mother had done, and despite her professional expertise, Grant’s mother experienced an unnecessarily tragic death. The lesson learned? Relatives must stay involved and alert to the end, no matter how much planning is in place. Read about Grant’s experience Here. Echoing the notion that caregivers need to be informed and involved as their loved ones are dying, a recent study published in Palliative Medicine found that caregivers want doctors to be open, honest and comprehensive when communicating with them as the end approaches. Read more about this study Here.

But don’t let these end-of-life challenges dissuade you from having important conversations with your loved one about their end-of-life wishes. If you need some help and reminders about how best to have these conversations, take a look at these words of wisdom from Ellen Goodman, founder of The Conversation Project.