No doubt you know by now that social engagement is critical for healthy aging and that friendships can be some of the most important and rewarding relationships in your life as you get older. Through no fault of your own, however, friendships can fizzle and fray, or perhaps even disappear, if neither party has the time or ability to invest and sustain the relationship. Moreover, making new friends at a time in your life when obstacles may be in the way and opportunities may be limited can be a challenge. A recent article by psychotherapist Emma Nadler in The Washington Post provides some strategies for you to find or enhance even just one friendship this year, including reconnecting with previous relationships and proposing specific ways to connect, developing regular “hang out” sessions with another person so it’s on both your schedules and finding others who also want to pursue a friendship rather than focusing on those you will never convert to a friend. Despite the difficulties, securing a deep and meaningful friendship for your later years will be a valuable investment for your health and well-being. If you fear that you don’t have the time to fully commit to a deep and lasting friendship, then you may want to opt for “friendship snacks” for the moment, which can be defined as “bite-sized” personal and meaningful interactions that convey your connection and affection for your friend. For an additional source of strategies and advice on making and sustaining friendships, put on your headphones and listen to this podcast series from writer and friendship guru Nina Badzin.

If you recognize and relish the friendships you have, there’s another trend in friendships you may want to consider. NPR podcast producer and journalist Rhaina Cohen has recently published a book entitled The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. Cohen’s central thesis is that friends can rise to the level of the essential relationships in your life, regardless of whether you have close family or a romantic partner, and that an intimate friendship (non-sexual) can turn into a committed partnership that fulfills many of the essential needs you might otherwise seek from a loved one. Her book profiles several friendship couples that exemplify close and intimate relationships that she calls “friendship partnerships.” In essence, Cohen wants you to broaden your concept of friendship to include the idea that a friendship can be the most important intimate relationship in your life. 

To take the concept one step further, Cohen highlights the friendship of Barb and Inez in a recent article in The Atlantic (both of whom are featured in her book). Starting as travel buddies and then moving on to share a house together, both women have come to collaborate with each other in their later years to help each other age in place and care for each other when sickness or other challenges arise. In essence, these friends are now each other’s caregivers, a responsibility that typically falls to a relative or spouse. As so many of us move on to age solo, without close relatives nearby to help, these friendship partnerships may become an attractive way to share the responsibilities of caregiving without feeling the burdens that role sometimes engenders. For more on this solution to the thorny problem of caregiving, call a friend and click here.