It’s been one of the more surprising aspects of the coronavirus pandemic. Despite the heavy burden imposed on older adults due to COVID, there doesn’t appear to be an epidemic of despair or misery among most seniors. In fact, from all reports, many older adults seem to have weathered the restrictions and limitations imposed by lock-downs (at least among community-dwelling, healthier seniors) and continue to feel a measure of optimism and even happiness, despite everything that’s happened. Why is that? According to psychologist Alison Gopnick, writing in The Wall Street Journal (paywall) it may be due to their skills and experience in dealing with stressful situations or it could be that knowing there is less time has led many of us to focus more on the positive. Or, perhaps it’s that we are free from some of the intensity and motivations that drove us as younger people and instead know our time is better spent on caring for and teaching others.

Writer Benedict Carey in The New York Times presses further on these ideas. He cites a study from Dr. Laura Carstensen from Stanford University which surveyed adults age 18-76 early in the pandemic when stress was high and knowledge was limited. Dr. Carstensen found that older adults had better emotional well-being and more daily positive elements than younger adults, despite comparable levels of stress. Why is that? Theories of emotional development and aging suggest that younger adults who focus on goals, skill training, and risk-taking, experience a level of stress and pressure that simply fades away as one gets older. As we age, we inherently move toward activities that are more pleasing rather than strive toward self-improvement, as we have come to accept ourselves rather than strain to conform to some outside influences.

In a recent essay in The Washington Post, writer Steven Petrow looks at the distinction between our “resume” virtues (acquired during our younger stressful years) versus our “eulogy virtues.” He writes that the more you move away from “your working years’ identity” to instead focusing on what now pleases you and makes you feel relevant (thus acting in ways for which people will likely remember you), the more likely you will feel happier as you get older. In fact, like many, Petrow stresses that feeling happier as you age often follows from focusing on small moments and the positivity they can bring.

Yet, if you’re struggling to find small or large moments of happiness in your later years, there are multiple daily “rituals” you can undertake to help you build your “eulogy virtues” and achieve greater happiness. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, best-selling author Neil Pasricha urges you to take a few minutes each morning and write down 3 things: what you’ll focus on that day, what you’re grateful for, and what you’ll let go of. In essence, he wants you to prime your brain for positive thoughts and attitudes rather than the negative toward which many of us naturally gravitate. Similarly, author, counselor, and blogger Meg Selig has a new book entitled, Silver Sparks: Thoughts on Growing Older, Wiser, and Happier. Her goal is to illuminate for you why older people tend to be happier and how you can add joy to your later years. Some of her recommendations? Make mental notes (or physical lists) of your day’s daily successes and create your “retirement elevator pitch” that succinctly summarizes who you used to be and what gives you joy and pleasure now. And speaking of retirement, Jacob Schroeder, writing in Kiplinger’s, suggests that you can achieve happiness now by doing the types of things you are “supposed” to do when you retire (even if you’ve yet to leave the work world). For example, he recommends that if you don’t love your job, make your hobbies an essential part of your identity (i.e, I’m a pastry chef who also works in marketing) or take up the one thing we know makes everyone happy- that is, helping others and feeling a sense of purpose. He also recommends experiencing new places (even if that’s just a local car ride away) and making sure to schedule time with family and friends (something we’re all excited about once vaccinations and conditions permit).

Finally, if you’re still in search of some happiness “mentoring,” there’s always the free online Coursera course “The Science of Well-Being,” taught by Yale Professor Laurie Santos and acclaimed as one of the most popular courses ever offered at Yale. To find out more, prepare to smile and click here.