Been There, Done That: Eight Decades And Counting By Alice Herb: Anxieties & Assessments

By Alice Herb

As I am slowly getting used to my advanced age, I am reminded of long-ago ideas, arcane information, and a lot of what might have been useless in middle age but is now interesting tidbits front and center in my view of the world. The one that comes most frequently to mind is Shakespeare’s The Seven Ages of Man from “As You Like It,” in which the Bard succinctly describes the circle of life from birth to death.  What is most salient here is the 6th age “…With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side, His youthful hose well sav’d, a world too wide, For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice, Turning again towards childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound.” (Clearly, this was an apt picture of the old MAN but we must forgive our author who lived in the 16th/17th Century for being unaware of the equal status of WOMEN.) I mention it here because certainly, we grow for a long time, but we no longer continue to grow better in our waning years. Rather we become worse in our capacity to perform certain tasks. For me this becomes most clear when I face the always formidable chore of opening my beach house, getting it in order, and provisioning it with the staples necessary for the summer. And now, because of this task, I am ANXIOUS.

When I first bought the house in 1968 and shortly after remarried, it was a huge task to prepare it for tenants. When my husband died and I was left with two beach houses, I could barely afford to continue to update, repair, and refurnish them for rental. I would come out every weekend and work from Friday night to Sunday night and then go back to my job on Monday. I finally sold one house for great profit and began to keep the first house for myself, no longer looking for renters. I still did yeoman work, cleaning, repairing, and painting. 

Now, in my advanced age, I still have that house but I ask my contractor to do all of the repair work. I have hired a terrific woman who not only opens and closes the house at the beginning and end of the season but comes regularly during the summer to clean it. And now, as this new summer season is almost upon me, I am up at night worried about how much I will be able to do. I go out much later in the Spring than I used to because I am now ANXIOUS about staying out at the beach when most of my neighbors are not there, and I worry that it will be too cold. While the house is now open with water on, and with furniture put in place, I won’t be able to stay overnight but must go out to check on everything. But I am reluctant to go alone.  

The round trip back and forth to the beach looms large now – a trip that was previously just another drive. I have now arranged for my beloved housekeeper in the City to accompany me for the day trip. I made sure that the water was turned on and that gas, electricity, heat, and A/C all worked. I still have to arrange for the telephone, WiFi, internet, and TV to be turned on, and to pack all the essentials to be left there.  

And I ask myself: Will I be able to walk the half mile from my parking spot to the ferry and from the ferry to the house? ANXIETY. I will forge ahead because I cannot see myself giving up on something I love. I realize that once I get there, it will be summer and I will thoroughly enjoy being there.

But the ANXIETY. How much longer will I be able to walk the distances, have the presence of mind to complete all arrangements, etc? But now I have to focus on the present and take pleasure in what I am still able to do. I will write my next blog post on the result of my efforts to continue to enjoy the beach. I don’t want to keep you in suspense. Will I enjoy it despite the anxiety? Time will tell.

Alice Herb is a retired attorney, journalist, and bioethics consultant. Having reached the age of 85+, she’s more than ready to share her experiences and opinions with agebuzz readers. Want to comment on something she’s said? She welcomes your feedback at [email protected]

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