While we’ve previously noted that divorce is on the rise among older adults, and second and even third marriages often fail, we didn’t see this coming. It turns out that the Golden Bachelor’s match made in heaven has come crashing down to earth. You may remember last fall the buzz about The Golden Bachelor television show, which featured the 70-something attractive widower Gerry Turner looking for love and a second chance at marriage with a group of eligible, mature women who were also looking to give love and romance another chance. After multiple twists and turns, Gerry wound up with Theresa Nist, a 70-something widow herself. After both had lost their long-time spouses, it seemed they finally found new soulmates, and after the end of the show, they came back into public view with a televised wedding that included the participation of several of the other women vying for Gerry’s affection. But sadly, after 3 months, the marriage of Gerry and Theresa has been dissolved.

So what happened? While both claim they continue to be in love and be best friends, it seems in real life (as opposed to television land) their lives were not so compatible. They had difficulty finding a location to live together (rumors circulated that neither was comfortable leaving their own children and grandchildren) and Theresa continues to be employed while Gerry has enjoyed carefree retirement living for a while. Theresa asked fans to show her some kindness and support, saying “It turns out, even at the age of 70, you don’t know everything.” She doesn’t seem to regret the experience of meeting and marrying Gerry, and ABC, the platform hosting The Golden Bachelor, continues to plan for a new season next fall, this time featuring a “Bachelorette” in the golden position of choosing.

Research shows that romance and dating over the age of 55 can be a mixed bag. For example, in one study out of Arizona State University, many single older adults had a sense of liberation being single, able to focus on themselves rather than having to respond to someone else’s needs. Older women in particular were wary of having their money exploited or becoming a caretaker instead of a lover and partner. While many study participants expressed optimism at trying their hand at romance again, only those newly single seemed particularly upset at being alone without a partner. Moreover, as was outlined in a recent New York Times piece on online dating after age 50, being an older dater can mean you can be pickier about what you want, without necessarily feeling the same pressure to find a spouse that you might have had when you were younger. Maybe Theresa Nist realized that the life she would have with Gerry Turner was not really what she wanted- or maybe Gerry wanted a more “traditional” wife who would be there for him, rather than be at the office. No one knows what goes on behind the closed doors of a marriage, but perhaps better for both of them that the marriage dissolved quickly without the merging of households or the broken hearts that often come with longer relationships. 

In the meantime, there’s no lack of dating advice or resources out there to educate and enlighten those seeking romance. There are many podcasts providing advice and encouragement (for example, listen to Dating While Gray or the audio program Love Has No Age: Dating as an older adult) and there’s even a private Facebook group you can join to support you in a selective online dating search. And speaking of online dating, the website MindBodyGreen has recently issued its latest review of “The 7 Best Dating Apps For Seniors To Build Meaningful Relationships for Adults over 50.” So, whether you meet on television or just text on the phone, the opportunity to find romance and love at an older age is out there, with the proviso that not every relationship is meant to be.