For many, there comes a point in your later years when you begin to look back, take stock, and try to find a cohesive story or at least a common thread running through your life. Sometimes this is done to leave a legacy for your children- sometimes it’s just a way to make sense of the life you’ve lived and perhaps cull some wisdom to guide your remaining days and pass on to others. For writer Dave Donelson, a highly successful businessman who left the business world to become a freelance writer in 1999, that time of “taking stock” has recently led him to write both a memoir and begin a daily journal on the occasion of entering his 70th year. 

Recently agebuzz Managing Editor Connie Zuckerman had a chance to speak with Dave about the process of looking back, putting together thoughts and memories, and creating a memoir to share with friends and family (and to publish for public consumption as well!). The book is titled Fathers: A Memoir and it’s available from Amazon in both trade paperback and ebook editions. (It should be available from other booksellers in the coming months.) We are also fortunate to announce that Dave will be starting a series of Guest Blog Posts for agebuzz, under the title, “Thoughts From a Journal of My Seventieth Year,” which will include posts from the daily journal he began in 2020.

What follows is an edited version of their conversation:

CZ: Dave, thank you so much for taking the time to share your insights and experiences with agebuzz readers. We’re grateful to learn from you!

First, can you provide us a bit of background about yourself and your career trajectory? How did you come to be a full-time writer? What led you to realize this was what you’re meant to do?

DD: Thanks for welcoming me to agebuzz, Connie. I won’t go into a lot of detail, but I’ve been involved in communications one way or the other since I was in my teens. My first job in media was as a radio journalist, which led me into ad sales, and then into television on the business side of the industry. I formed a consulting company in 1988, enjoyed success as an entrepreneur in broadcasting, and “retired” to write in 1999. I have been a writer my entire life but wasn’t able financially to pursue it as a career until my partners and I sold our company.

CZ: Before your current memoir and journal projects, what type of writing were you doing (or are still doing) and what publications have you written that we can take a look at?

DD: I’ve done just about all kinds of writing. Two novels, two short story collections, four non-fiction business prescriptives drawing on my consulting experience, the memoir you mentioned, and even a small volume of poetry combined with some of my street photography. I don’t honestly know how many magazine features I’ve done. At one time I counted some 35 magazines around the country that carried my work. In recent years, I’ve done a lot of work for Westchester Magazine, a regional monthly. In addition to business and lifestyle features, I edit an annual golf magazine for them.

CZ: Now, to your book,  Fathers: A Memoir. How did you decide to write a memoir? Was it something you’d been mulling over for a while? What was your goal in writing this sort of book?

DD: I wrote this book for my son and daughter and wasn’t sure I was going to publish it until they had seen it. It was very much a personal project. I literally started it while I was in the hospital recovering from heart surgery because I realized my kids really didn’t know much about how I grew up, which in turn had a lot to do with what kind of father I am to them. 

CZ: Can you describe for us the process of writing a memoir? How did you organize your tasks and your research? How did you remember the various aspects of your life? What kind of research did you have to engage in and did you need to involve others to help you recall important events?

DD: The first step in writing a memoir is deciding what you’re going to write about. That sounds obvious, but keep in mind that you’re not writing an autobiography, you’re exploring memory, which is a very different thing. I wanted to tell my children what my life was like before they came along, centering on my relationship with my birth father and two step-fathers.  

I tried to remember significant events in my life as they relate to that theme, then wrote about them as they came to me. I would check facts and dates from family records but mostly relied on my own recollections. I also relied on a second cousin who had compiled a pretty complete genealogy of my mother’s side of the family. 

I didn’t organize the book until the individual chapters were written, then I shuffled them around using various schemes–chronological, subject matter, characters–until I liked the way it flowed. It’s not a narrative, so I didn’t start at the beginning and end at the end.

CZ: How long did it take you from the decision to write the memoir to completion?

DD: Six years of many starts and stops. 

CZ: Do you think this is a project that “non-writers” can take on? What’s your best advice about getting started and keeping motivated?

DD: Absolutely! Even if–especially if–you have no intention of publishing it, writing a memoir is a wonderful way to remember your life. It’s remarkable, too, how much you learn about yourself if you write honestly. (And that’s another reason to not worry about publishing!)

CZ: How was the process of self-publishing? Was that difficult? Expensive?

DD: I’ve self-published most of my books, and am a competent photographer and graphic designer, so it’s not an overwhelming process for me. Writing is one thing, editing is something else, design and layout yet another part of the process. There are services you can hire quite reasonably to handle everything beyond the writing part if you want. There are several platforms, too, including Amazon’s print-on-demand service, which I find quite good.

CZ: What about publicity? Is it your intent to publicize the book or was it just intended for family and friends?

DD: Quite frankly, I’m not going to spend a lot of time and money on publicity. I have a website that shows all my work and I have been invited to speak at a couple of libraries, but I don’t write for commercial success, I write to satisfy myself.

CZ: How do you feel having accomplished this tremendous task?

DD: Fathers was my tenth book, but seeing the first copy was still like seeing my son being born. 

CZ: And now, onto your “70th” year journal! When did you start this? Did the pandemic and quarantine play any role in your decision?

DD: I started this monster on my 69th birthday, the first day of my 70th year. With everything going on in the world, the pandemic, the presidential election, etc., I felt I would have a lot to write about. I am also a photographer, so I combine various graphic content with my writing.

CZ: What’s your goal in keeping this journal? Is it just for yourself or do you plan to share your thoughts and experiential wisdom?

I am publishing it as well. It may have some interest from a wider audience. I may also do something ambitious with it online. The first volume of the journal is now in print and available on Amazon under the title The Journal of My Seventieth Year: Summer, 2020.

CZ: What do you write about each day? Do you plan ahead or just use whatever inspiration you get when you sit down at your keyboard?

DD: Deciding what to write about is the toughest part of the journaling process. I scan the headlines of five newspapers each morning but generally try not to write about events and politics more than once a week or so. There’s always the weather and nature, memories, birthdays, and holidays. Believe me, coming up with something every single day is hard!

CZ: More generally, what do you think are the benefits of writing both a memoir and keeping a daily journal? Do you think those of us who are not professional writers might find this a meaningful and valuable endeavor?

DD: Both are very rewarding. One of my favorite teachers pounded into me that to write well you have to think clearly. Writing the memoir helped me clarify my thoughts about myself and others. The subtitle of the journal is “a memoir in real-time” and it has the same benefit. 

CZ: Any last words of wisdom for agebuzz readers who might want to emulate you?

DD: Don’t set out to top the NY Times bestseller list–you’ll probably be very disappointed. To be successful, write for an audience of one, yourself. 

CZ: Thank you so much, Dave! 

DD: Thank you!