As almost any older person can tell you, going to the doctor can become a regular fact of life as the years tick by. And going to various specialists for specific problems can feel like the cost of growing older in this day and age. In fact, new research published in the Annals of Internal Medicine confirms what many of us already experience: it’s becoming increasingly common for older adults to see multiple different doctors over the course of a year. According to this research, in the 1980s, older adults tended to mostly go to primary care doctors. Now, older adults primarily visit specialists, a fact that reflects American health care delivery in contrast to the delivery systems of other developed countries. In fact, 30% of seniors now see 5 or more different specialists in a year. That may or may not be a good thing, but one thing’s clear: that requires a lot of calendar coordination, management of appointments, and tracking of prescriptions (not to mention transportation arrangements). In essence, the more doctors you see the more information overload you may experience.

So it’s not easy being an older patient these days, which is a primary reason why Patient Advocate Julie Buyon has been writing her “Powerhouse Patient” series for agebuzz readers. It’s not easy getting to know a new doctor and it’s not easy coming to trust that doctor, either with the private information you’re supposed to divulge or with his/her recommendations. Certainly, the pandemic has done a lot to erode our trust in doctors, and the limited time you have with the physician, not to mention the long waits for an appointment (or in the waiting room) are sure to heighten your level of stress and anxiety once you come face to face with the physician. In truth, you now need to prep for a doctor’s appointment the way you might have for a school presentation or test. According to a recent “tip sheet” in The New York Times, in order to remember and act upon your doctor’s advice, you should assert yourself and not allow the physician to “ verbally dominate” you. You also need to show up prepared, with a list of your top 3 issues that you want to make sure get addressed before the appointment goes off the rails. Experts acknowledge that when you’re under stress, you’re less likely to remember what’s been said, so to enhance your memory and understanding, lessen the stress by organizing your thoughts and asserting your concerns front and center.

Yale physician Dr. Christine Ko, author of the new book How to Improve Doctor-Patient Connection Using Psychology to Optimize Healthcare Interactions, says the key to a successful physician-patient relationship is to focus on 3 things: Agenda, Connection, and Expertise. As a patient, you need to go into an appointment with your “to-do” list (that’s your agenda), create a connection with your physician by using eye contact (she recommends you make note of the color of your physician’s eyes so that your know you’ve made eye contact), a smile and pleasant conversation, and perhaps most importantly (and as Julie Buyon has reminded us), bring your expertise into the room to match the physician’s expertise. Your expertise pertains to knowing your own body, your own medical history, and what’s worked for you in the past.

Finally, when in that room, whether with a primary care physician or specialist, don’t be reticent about asking questions of concern. In a recent article in US News, the concept was made clear: a curious patient is likely a healthier patient, so don’t be shy about asking questions. For example, “How many patients with my condition have you treated,” or “What would you recommend if I were your parent?” Chances are, your doctor (and your body) will thank you for being inquisitive.